Disclaimer:
This is my first attempt at writing a comedy story, so proceed with caution! Laughs are not guaranteed, but awkward chuckles, eye rolls, and the occasional "What did I just read?" moment are highly possible. Your patience — and sense of humor — are greatly appreciated!
Tiwari Ji: “Shukla Ji, where is my train?”
Shukla Ji (casually sipping tea): “Which train?”
Tiwari Ji: “The Flying Tortoise Express.”
Shukla Ji (checking his 1995 register): “Oh, that one? It’ll be here soon.”
Tiwari Ji: “How soon?”
Shukla Ji (adjusting his glasses): “See, the engine left the previous station an hour ago, but the coaches are still there. Small technical issue.”
Tiwari Ji stared at him. The engine had left, but the train hadn’t? Only in Indian Railways could a train suffer from separation anxiety.
Platform No. 1 – Where Time Stands Still
Meanwhile, passengers were engaged in their favorite railway pastime – predicting the train's actual arrival time.
- Uncle No. 1: “It’ll come in another hour.”
- Auntie No. 1: “I bet my gold bangles it won’t arrive before lunch.”
- Smartphone Guy: “Google says it was last seen 50 km away… two days ago.”
Just then, the loudspeaker crackled to life with a special announcement:
"Attention passengers, Train No. 420 is arriving shortly… on a platform that we will reveal at the last second for maximum confusion."
The Grand Entry – Train or Myth?
After five hours, three chai cups, and a life crisis later, the train finally crawled into the station like an overfed buffalo. The crowd erupted into action, running toward it like it was the last train on Earth.
Chaos broke out as General Coach Warriors tried to enter through windows, while Reserved Seat Dreamers realized their seat numbers didn’t exist in reality.
Inside the train, the usual railway entertainers appeared out of nowhere:
- The Chaiwala – Who somehow existed on every platform at the same time.
- The Earphone Guy – Selling “original Chinese earphones” for ₹50, which were guaranteed to last until the next station.
- The Magician – Who could make your wallet disappear if you blinked for too long.
The Great TTE Chase
Just as everyone settled, the TTE (Ticket Examiner) arrived like a mini-boss in a video game. Half the passengers pretended to be asleep, while others suddenly became someone else.
TTE: “Ticket, please.”
Passenger: “Sir, my name is Rajesh.”
TTE: “But your ticket says Ramesh.”
Passenger: “Sir, it’s a typo. You know how careless these railway people are.”
Meanwhile, ticketless travelers performed their annual disappearing act, vanishing into the toilets until the TTE left.
The Mandatory Emergency Stop
Just when everyone thought the nightmare was over, the train stopped in the middle of nowhere.
Tiwari Ji: “Why have we stopped?”
Chaiwala: “Arre, sir, normal hai. Either the driver went for tea, or they’re waiting for a cow to move.”
Everyone nodded in agreement. This was standard railway procedure.
After a 30-minute “technical break” (translation: chai break for railway staff), the train finally resumed its journey… only to stop again after five minutes.
The Final Twist – Indian Railways’ Signature Move
A final announcement came over the speaker:
"Passengers, due to unforeseen reasons, this train will be terminated here. Please deboard and make your own arrangements."
Passengers looked at each other in shock. “Terminated here”? This wasn’t even a real station—it was just a field with a stray buffalo!
And thus, The Flying Tortoise Express proved once again that in India, you don’t travel by train – the train travels you.
Meanwhile, Shukla Ji, sipping another cup of tea at the station, smiled and muttered…
“Jeevan ek safar hai suhana, yahan kal kya ho kisne jaana.
Life is a beautiful journey; no one knows what tomorrow may bring.
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